Do you wear the mask!

One of my favorite poems is by Paul Laurence Dunbar and it is called We Wear the Mask.  It goes like this:

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
    It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
    This debt we pay to human guile;
    With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
    And mouth with myriad subtleties.

    Why should the world be over-wise,
    In counting all our tears and sighs?
    Nay, let them only see us, while
            We wear the mask.

    We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
    To thee from tortured souls arise.
    We sing, but oh the clay is vile
    Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
    But let the world dream otherwise,
            We wear the mask!

I am a true believer in the power of words and oh how these words continue to stand the test of time.  Too many of us "wear the mask".  We mask ourselves and live in a state of denial about who we truly are.  Others may see it, especially those closest to us, but it is often too difficult to accept the criticism.  It is also hard to accept the fact that the people we are drawn to and who we draw unto us...are merely a reflection of who we are!  Whoa...that's deep!

Audrey Chapman (WHUR) did a fantastic show today on just this topic.  She and Rev. Dr. Leonard Smith of Arlington, VA talked about the importance of doing "the work" to truly unmask yourself.  It was mentioned on the show that it is "hard work hiding from yourself'"!  Boy...you can say that again!  How can you criticize what someone else is doing when you are engaging in the same behavior?  How can you be nice to folks at church and treat your family like dirt?  How can you speak to people in an ugly manner and call yourself a professional?  How can you have a strong mother-daughter (father-son) relationship with a woman (man) who is not your own and never even speak with your own daughter (son)?  How can you claim to care about children and continually under educate them so that they will not have a fighting chance in life?  Here is a biggie...how can you claim you love someone, yet hurt them physically, emotionally, and or spiritually?  Here is the answer....YOU CAN'T! 

Take that mask off and like the kids say...stop frontin'!  There are many things in life that hurt us or bring us pain, but it does not have to define who we are.  The more you hide from it...the bigger the toll it will take on you and those around you.  It's okay to take a look at who you truly are and be THAT person!  It does not make you bad or good...it makes you who you are!  Celebrate that person and whatever comes with it!  If you have a tendency to be short tempered...that's okay, but you must learn that just because that's who you are..it DOES NOT give you the right to allow your short temper to hurt or hinder others.  Adopt strategies for what you will do when your temper becomes short.  Give yourself permission to take a "time out", but more importantly embrace the practices that will help you identify where that temper stems from.  Eventually, you may be able to eliminate that trait all together, but it does take work! 

I wear a mask often.  Of course, there are situations where it is not appropriate to reveal all the facets of you (i.e. work), but it is important to know how all the parts of you impact all the parts of your life whether at work, home, church; within civic groups, sororities, fraternities, etc.  However, I know over the years, really since I was a little girl, I learned how to darn that mask early on to cover up so many things that I thought I would be judged for if they were to get out.  What I failed to realize was that many of those things were NOT a reflection of me and they did not determine who I was then nor who I am now.  It is HARD shedding that mask, but I plan on doing it because I am a really cool person and I want to get to know myself better!  How about you...do you want to shed your mask? Feel free to leave your comments!

Change your perspective! (Try looking up!)

Hello All! I am sooo excited to actually be able to "blog" now. Remember...this was not possible last week, but look at what God CAN do!!!! I am thoroughly educated and WELL ABLE, by the Grace of God, to figure out most things!
Today I want to talk about changing our perspective. I am living minute by minute versus day by day, but working on my perspective along the way!
The late Dr. Benjamin Mays (civil rights crusader, community leader, educator, former President of Morehouse College, and advisor to Presidents Johnson and Carter) once said, “I have only one minute, only sixty seconds in it. Forced upon me, can’t refuse it. Didn’t seek it, didn’t choose it, but it’s up to me to use it. I must suffer if I lose it; give account if I abuse it. Just a tiny little minute, but an eternity is in it.”
Wow…an eternity being in a minute is hard to believe, but really when you think about it….that’s true. We really need to spend time thinking about how we spend our minutes. Will we select to use them wisely or foolishly? Will I cry about my dysfunctional family or thank God for having a family to love? (And I DO love my family!) :0) Will I worry about an ex-spouse who doesn’t understand the importance of parenting and how to communicate or even think on his own? Or…will I thank God for giving me the ability to parent for two and show my daughter what true parenting looks like, lovingly firm? Should I worry about business plans that don’t turn out the way I expected or thank God in advance for the prosperous blessings that are to come?
I choose the latter of EVERY option! In all things we are instructed to give God thanks! No…don’t thank him for causing your mean co-worker to grow an elephant sized zit on their nose, or for causing your ex-spouse to break their foot, but thank him for any and every experience that you have the faith he will bring you through! Too often we stress ourselves out over things we cannot control. This stress impacts us physically, mentally, and spiritually. God wants you to live in peace and harmony, but stress causes our bodies to be disharmonious with our higher power. We have to change our perspective!
Give yourself permission to stop allowing stress into your life! Change your outlook of the situation. What is it about the situation that makes you feel “less than enough”? Whatever it is…deal with that. Then remind yourself…you ARE enough! God made it that way! Change your perspective…you are the child of the King! God before you is greater than ANY man who tries to come against you!
We’ll Talk!