What we thought was lost, we have found. Now what will we do with it?

"Don't call it a come back!!!!  I been here for years."

Just call it a hiatus from the written word and I am so glad that I am able to now jump start myself...again.  Sometimes when you are shifting to a new elevated place in your purpose focused life....it requires a side of the road moment. (Or a few years on the side of the road.  Whichever option applies to your life circumstances. LOL)

The post title says it all.  I thought I had lost it.  My way, my drive, my fire, my purpose, my focus, my security, my mind, my life as I had planned.  You know the saying...the best way to make God laugh is to come up with a plan.  Well, my plan had me AND God laughing to the point of tears! LOL

I am so grateful for the voices and experiences that have always found their way to me.  It is okay to not get it right the first time.  It is okay to launch off into the deep when NO ONE else believes in you.  It is okay to give it all up to gain it all!  It is okay to fail several times.  As Thomas Edison said, "I have not failed.  I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."    

We often think that if we don't hit the mark the first time, then all is lost.  However, once we become courageous in our forgiveness of ourselves and in our understanding of "the process" and how most success comes after some hard gained triumph, then and only then are we actually able to find or rediscover what we thought had been lost.  Experiential knowledge can never be taken away, but it can always be rediscovered and refined.  

We are all here for a vital purpose no matter how big or small.  Okay...so you thought you lost your way in the woods on that road which has been less traveled. I offer to you that you were not then and are not now lost.

I thought for so long that I had lost so much, never realizing that those things (or people) were being removed from my life to free me up to do BIGGER things.  We may have found ourselves lost at some point, but when we find or rediscover what we perceived as being lost, that is when we must ask ourselves the courageous question what will I now do with this rediscovered opportunity.  What will you do?

I Often Let Literature Lead the Way!

Hello All! 

I'm back!!!  Wow...it has been some time since I've "blogged" for you.  It was a time of metamorphosis for me and for my purpose, but here we are...back and in tact! :0)

Many people know that I love reading.  I find so many monumental messages in books, both fiction and nonfiction.  But, my favorite stories ever told are found in the Good Book.  However, during this time of recalculation and rebirth for me...I want to focus on one of my other favorite works of rich literature by Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Were Watching God.  This beautiful novel of discovery, transformation, resislence and showing gratitude to our higher power as manifested in nature, starts off with one of the most quoted and analyzed few lines in literature. (This week..I will only focus on these few lines in this blog series.)

"Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board.  For some they come in with the tide.  For others they sail forever on the horizon, never out of sight, never landing until the Watcher turns his eyes away in resignation, his dreams mocked to death by Time.  That is the life of men."

 

The Despondent Angel. (2007) Retrieved July 26, 2012, from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:DespondentAngelMetCemHead.jpg

I know it seems awkward that such of an accomplished, educated, advocate for women like Hurston would start her novel talking about men.  Especially a novel that deals with a woman's quest for her authentic self and real love.  But, the way it sets the backdrop and tempo of the story is sheer artistic genius.  A true God given gift that was apparent in her writing.  A statement that we all probably read and said out loud to our selves "umm-umm-umm".  You know why?  Because we can ALL identify with those lines!!!!

We have all had dreams that never came to shore and we have had dreams that may have come in with the tide.  But, where does our focus and mind stay the most?  On those dreams...those visions...those purposes that we could never land, that we could never give birth to, that we had to watch taunt us from a distance  until we could not take the mockery of it all and had to turn away from the dream in resignation. Wow...that's a strong noun...resignation. The dictionary terms that word to mean an accepting, unresisting attitude, or state; submission; acquiescence.  Submission...acquiescence.  This gets deeper and deeper...right?

Let me say this...what you focus on the longest becomes the strongest.  Yes...we are all dreamers and know that we were all placed here for a purpose.  We are all part of a grander picture that requires all of our input to impact the totality.  So, often those dreams that are in our guts waiting to burst free can make us almost sick...downright despondent when they do not come to pass.  But, is that how we should respond to our "dreams deferred" as Langston Hughes called them?

Or instead...can we forgive ourselves more.  Give ourselves permission to recalculate.  Give ourselves permission to cry and lament and then get over it and keep it moving.  Give ourselves the network, the knowledge, and the staying power to try to go for it in a different way or restructure what it is we are attempting to do.  Lest we forget the word "submission" in our definition of resignation.  See...that is what we should be doing anyway.  Submitting...not to our own will, but to God's will.  He might keep some of those dreams out to sea for a reason.  They may not be what he has for your purpose.  That ship could come to shore and land itself right on top of you taking you out of the game of life totally.  You know your grandma told you "chile...everything that glitters ain't gold!"  Stop trying to force that relationship to work, stop chasing money and chase your Master's purpose for your life, stop making it about you and make it about serving others, stop complaining and practice some gratitude for a change.  Then...we may see more ships coming to shore that are meant to lead us on our life's journey toward our true purpose.  You may think this is contrary to popular belief, but submission is a good thing.  It means you are willing to accept that you control nothing, you are willing to let things go as not to become tainted by this Earthly life, and that you are willing to have faith in your Creator and His plan for you and free yourself to hearing from Him in whatever form it may come.

Shakespeare is often credited with saying, "Nothing is so common as the wish to be remarkable."  Let's work on being remarkable according to the calling on our lives and on purpose.

I love you all..good to be back...look for our new website coming soon and as always....

We'll talk!!

Carmellita

What Are YOU Listening To?

Hello all and Happy New Year!  I know this is very delayed, but life took me on a much needed detour...a sojourn so to speak! But...I am so glad I always LISTEN to my little voice inside that tells me when it is time to get back up!  Bam...and I'm back!

Those of you who know me well are probably very familiar with the fact that I tend to live my life like the whimsical protagonist Ally McBeal from the 1997-2002 sitcom by the same name.  Every day that I am blessed to see, every emotion I have, every goal I am trying to achieve can be marked, in my mind, by just the right song!

For example, when I think of my beautiful daughter, whether it's during times when I'm most proud of her or times when she has caused a vein to pop out in the middle of my forehead, I tend to remind myself of the Jaime Fox song Heaven.  She is my little angel...still!

When I am out on the grind making things happen for my companies, my theme song rages loud You Be Killin' Em by Fabolous! (By the way...I am sure that is my body on Amber Rose's face in the video!) :0)

Days when I am dealing with all the "professional devils" and "circling sharks", I hum two songs that keep me strong. Blessed by Fred Hammond and Thou Art A Shield for Me by Byron Cage.  I encourage you to borrow these two songs.  Trust me...they WILL keep you going!

So, what are you listening to in your mind?  Do you hear your strong and positive inner voice?  That is our voice of God, you know.  Or are you listening to the Negative Nellies, the Emotional Vampires, and as Dr. Traci Lynn says...the Negaholics!  What! You better say that one twice...NEGAHOLICS!

Happiness is not based on some external stimuli or input, but JOY comes directly from your relationship with your higher power!  I have been slowly, but surely building my empire for years.  Very few believe in or can even see my vision.  I know I WILL help others tap into the educational and business sources they need to have the best quality of life possible.  Guess what...I don't care about those who cannot see what I see because all I can hear is, "Girl, you be killin' em, you be killin' em'!"

So...what are you listening to in your mind?  If it is anything contrary to the purpose for which you have been placed here to accomplish....then you better change the station!  Let Negative Nelly hang out with the Emotional Vampires..they can feed off of each other.  Don't give them an OUNCE of your time, energy, blood, sweat, OR tears!  Let the Negaholics start their own twelve step program and leave you out of it! 

As Robert Frost said,

"The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."

So, get busy, put your earbuds in, put on your theme song, and GET  TO WORK!  Make YOUR dreams and goals come true...whatever they may be!  That's between you and God.  Let the naysayers figure out what they are suppose to do to contribute to the world.  You just worry about making the world a better place because YOU were here!  Do it with a song on your lips and joyful thanksgiving in your heart!

Do you wear the mask!

One of my favorite poems is by Paul Laurence Dunbar and it is called We Wear the Mask.  It goes like this:

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
    It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
    This debt we pay to human guile;
    With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
    And mouth with myriad subtleties.

    Why should the world be over-wise,
    In counting all our tears and sighs?
    Nay, let them only see us, while
            We wear the mask.

    We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
    To thee from tortured souls arise.
    We sing, but oh the clay is vile
    Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
    But let the world dream otherwise,
            We wear the mask!

I am a true believer in the power of words and oh how these words continue to stand the test of time.  Too many of us "wear the mask".  We mask ourselves and live in a state of denial about who we truly are.  Others may see it, especially those closest to us, but it is often too difficult to accept the criticism.  It is also hard to accept the fact that the people we are drawn to and who we draw unto us...are merely a reflection of who we are!  Whoa...that's deep!

Audrey Chapman (WHUR) did a fantastic show today on just this topic.  She and Rev. Dr. Leonard Smith of Arlington, VA talked about the importance of doing "the work" to truly unmask yourself.  It was mentioned on the show that it is "hard work hiding from yourself'"!  Boy...you can say that again!  How can you criticize what someone else is doing when you are engaging in the same behavior?  How can you be nice to folks at church and treat your family like dirt?  How can you speak to people in an ugly manner and call yourself a professional?  How can you have a strong mother-daughter (father-son) relationship with a woman (man) who is not your own and never even speak with your own daughter (son)?  How can you claim to care about children and continually under educate them so that they will not have a fighting chance in life?  Here is a biggie...how can you claim you love someone, yet hurt them physically, emotionally, and or spiritually?  Here is the answer....YOU CAN'T! 

Take that mask off and like the kids say...stop frontin'!  There are many things in life that hurt us or bring us pain, but it does not have to define who we are.  The more you hide from it...the bigger the toll it will take on you and those around you.  It's okay to take a look at who you truly are and be THAT person!  It does not make you bad or good...it makes you who you are!  Celebrate that person and whatever comes with it!  If you have a tendency to be short tempered...that's okay, but you must learn that just because that's who you are..it DOES NOT give you the right to allow your short temper to hurt or hinder others.  Adopt strategies for what you will do when your temper becomes short.  Give yourself permission to take a "time out", but more importantly embrace the practices that will help you identify where that temper stems from.  Eventually, you may be able to eliminate that trait all together, but it does take work! 

I wear a mask often.  Of course, there are situations where it is not appropriate to reveal all the facets of you (i.e. work), but it is important to know how all the parts of you impact all the parts of your life whether at work, home, church; within civic groups, sororities, fraternities, etc.  However, I know over the years, really since I was a little girl, I learned how to darn that mask early on to cover up so many things that I thought I would be judged for if they were to get out.  What I failed to realize was that many of those things were NOT a reflection of me and they did not determine who I was then nor who I am now.  It is HARD shedding that mask, but I plan on doing it because I am a really cool person and I want to get to know myself better!  How about you...do you want to shed your mask? Feel free to leave your comments!

Change your perspective! (Try looking up!)

Hello All! I am sooo excited to actually be able to "blog" now. Remember...this was not possible last week, but look at what God CAN do!!!! I am thoroughly educated and WELL ABLE, by the Grace of God, to figure out most things!
Today I want to talk about changing our perspective. I am living minute by minute versus day by day, but working on my perspective along the way!
The late Dr. Benjamin Mays (civil rights crusader, community leader, educator, former President of Morehouse College, and advisor to Presidents Johnson and Carter) once said, “I have only one minute, only sixty seconds in it. Forced upon me, can’t refuse it. Didn’t seek it, didn’t choose it, but it’s up to me to use it. I must suffer if I lose it; give account if I abuse it. Just a tiny little minute, but an eternity is in it.”
Wow…an eternity being in a minute is hard to believe, but really when you think about it….that’s true. We really need to spend time thinking about how we spend our minutes. Will we select to use them wisely or foolishly? Will I cry about my dysfunctional family or thank God for having a family to love? (And I DO love my family!) :0) Will I worry about an ex-spouse who doesn’t understand the importance of parenting and how to communicate or even think on his own? Or…will I thank God for giving me the ability to parent for two and show my daughter what true parenting looks like, lovingly firm? Should I worry about business plans that don’t turn out the way I expected or thank God in advance for the prosperous blessings that are to come?
I choose the latter of EVERY option! In all things we are instructed to give God thanks! No…don’t thank him for causing your mean co-worker to grow an elephant sized zit on their nose, or for causing your ex-spouse to break their foot, but thank him for any and every experience that you have the faith he will bring you through! Too often we stress ourselves out over things we cannot control. This stress impacts us physically, mentally, and spiritually. God wants you to live in peace and harmony, but stress causes our bodies to be disharmonious with our higher power. We have to change our perspective!
Give yourself permission to stop allowing stress into your life! Change your outlook of the situation. What is it about the situation that makes you feel “less than enough”? Whatever it is…deal with that. Then remind yourself…you ARE enough! God made it that way! Change your perspective…you are the child of the King! God before you is greater than ANY man who tries to come against you!
We’ll Talk!